Democracy at Work

I grew up in a very politically vocal household. Most Conservative Republicans are. My schooling involved a lot of right-wing rants from my history teacher. I went to college and was exposed to more liberals, but my politics teacher was conservative.

As I've grown, I've started to see the problem with democracy in America. It's the problem many people in my generation have noticed alongside me - their response is to relinquish their right to vote. What is this problem that would cause so many to forgo a right that generations have fought to gain? The problem is that there is no real representative of the people in our government.

Looking at the issues that the 2 major parties stand on, I see no one that I completely agree with. I almost think that this is done purposely so that people focus on one issue when voting and don't see the other stances on issues that they are voting for.

Did you know that there are 5 "major" political parties? There are 33 "minor" parties, as well. So, why is it we only hear about 2?

We can blame the media, but I think the blame lies on the citizens. We don't take the time to look at ALL of our options. Why should we always feel like we are choosing the lesser of two evils? People say that if they vote for any other candidates, they are throwing away their vote. Isn't the point of voting to make your voice heard?

I say we start voting for what we believe in with confidence. That we stop putting ourselves on polar opposites - making it a state of "us and them" and making the chasm between larger. I say that we take our right to vote and use it. Make the American government speak for the people again.

Look at your options & vote for who most closely resembles your beliefs.

This country will be a much better place if we all did.

This seems to be the best website I can find about all the candidates:
http://www.politics1.com/p2016.htm

Here's a quiz to see whom you side with most, look into each result, though, to see how your response compares: http://www.isidewith.com/political-quiz

Run Away!

One of the challenges I'm facing with the eminent addition to our family is to fight the urge to run.

It's an urge I've been fighting since childhood. I remember one instance where my neighbor friend and I chose to rendezvous in our alley at midnight one night and drive away in her electric toy car. We got a block away before her step-father found us and brought us home. I don't think I was ever serious about running away as a child because I never really got far or planned my trips very well.

I escaped in a different way. Through my books, I could be a secret agent or courageous wizard. I lived in far off countries or magical lands. I was wooed by Mr. Darcy and journeyed through Middle Earth. I chose to live vicariously through beloved characters rather than live my own life. I even got involved with theatre and became the characters I played. 

Yet, at different points in my life, I still fought the urge to physically run. I long for adventure. I want to see the world, to experience its many cultures. I want to have an interesting life fighting for justice or creating a masterpiece. I wanted the life I have, but I also didn't want to settle down so early. 

With the addition of a baby, it looks as if I will never have the adventures I yearn for, and that scares me. That's what makes me want to run away. Perhaps this wanderlust could be satiated if I were to go out more. If I made a point to take trips to the places I want to see and found interesting activities to do while at home, I may be a little more inclined to stick around. Maybe this is something I need to prioritize in my life, and maybe I will become a little more content with settling down if I do.

Rather than waste time on Pinterest or spend my days in someone else's adventure, I'm going to start making choices that support this longing. We'll see how it turns out!

Baby on the Way

After trying for a few months, my husband and I have been blessed with a developing baby. I'm now 22 weeks pregnant and overwhelmed with the prospect of becoming a first-time mom. In anticipation of the positive pregnancy test, I read up on a lot of baby and parenting books, blogs, and sites. I even started my baby registry (with the mindset that we would be having a boy first) on amazon. I was so excited to be moving on to this next chapter in my life that I over-saturated my brain with baby - that is, until I actually found out I was pregnant.

The first few months, it seemed too good to be true. I didn't want to tell anyone just in case we lost it, but my big mouth overruled me on that one. I stopped looking at baby stuff for fear that I would jinx it. I went to my doctor's appointments, saw the baby moving, and still couldn't quite believe that what I saw on the screen reflected what was going on in my womb. I'm the kind of person who has hopes and dreams for my life and never believes that I could actually obtain any of them. This was just another case of my unbelievable felicity.

After we found out the gender in our 20 week visit and I started feeling distinct movement, I finally allowed myself to revel in the new life created within me. I also began to freak out. I'm not ready to be a mom! I'm only 25. I still have no idea what I want to do with my life. How can we provide for children while still trying to reach our financial goal of being debt-free? I'm just now rethinking my career and flirting with the idea of going back to school to pursue Interior Design. Becoming a published author, it turns out, requires much more discipline and energy than I have. Figuring out how to juggle being a full-time mom and part-time employee is going to be hard.

So as my life is transitioning yet again, I am faced with new challenges, many of which come from rethinking the choices I've made up to now. I have come to understand that sometimes the best way to face them is head-on as they come. Creativity comes out of necessity, and I believe that this next chapter of my life is going to require a lot of creativity.

I know that with God's help and the support of my family and friends, I can overcome these challenges. And I know that I will grow tremendously because of them. So, (I guess) bring 'em on!

Self-Acceptance

An idea is germinating in me. It's an idea I've long been grappling. Who am I--really?

Years of living behind a mask, a self-inflicted performance created to obtain acceptance and accolades, have stunted my growth into my own skin. I think this is a major epidemic in society as a whole, but mostly within Christian households.

A few years ago, I was a year into my college career and asking that same question, "Who am I?" At that moment, I came to the wrong conclusion that sounded so much like the right one. You see, I decided that I needed to accept myself, wholly, for who I believed I was created to be. I needed to embrace EVERY aspect of myself, which included my sinful desires--especially my sinful desires. I had come to the conclusion that I--at the core of who I am and who God created me to be--was undeniably and irrevocably promiscuous, and for God to really use me, I needed to release that (very hidden) side of me. (I was overcompensating for my perfectionist tendencies.)

Looking back now, I see how naive I was. I was so eager to reinvent myself that I ended up losing myself to a twisted logic. That decision cost me my virginity, but I do not mourn that so much as the wasted time, broken psyche, and deep depression that ensued.

I do not believe that I asked the wrong question, nor do I think that my conclusion was far off. The issue with my conclusion was one that comes to a lot of people when faced with a decision. Sometimes, we settle for answers that almost sound perfect. They just slightly miss the mark. These answers mimic truth so well that we choose to ignore the flashing warning signs that might indicate their deception.

Do not be mistaken, it is deception.

It's near-truths and almost-rights that send us so far off course. It's an ancient tactic used by Satan from the dawn of time.
"If you eat the fruit, you won't die (at least not right away)." He says to Eve.

We need to take the time to step back before diving into a decision or a conclusion to assess it fully. Look at the warning signs. Do not let impatience prompt you into a decision you are going to regret in the future.

I am still forming my answer to the question of "Who am I?" today. I believe that I was right in my conclusion that I needed to accept myself for who I am. I am not who I thought I was. I defined myself by an attribute that came as a result of humanity's downfall rather than how I specifically was created--in God's image.

The correct answer to "Who am I?" lies in the need to realize my strengths and weaknesses, cultivate my passions and talents, and stop trying to be something I'm not.

I can utilize my strengths and talents while pursuing my passions and allowing God's power to shine through my weaknesses.

So, who am I?
The answer isn't simple, and it's something I'm learning a little more of each day.

The Forgotten Sin

Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions,... (Galatians 5:19-20 ESV)

When looking at this passage, it's so easy for us to focus on the "big sins," pointing out sexual immorality, idolatry, anger, etc. So many times we read through this (what seems like) never-ending list of works of the flesh and skip over a couple key points hidden in the middle. In fact, it seems like one of the biggest traits of the modern-day church is division. We separate ourselves by how we worship, interpretations of the Bible, or what we focus on.  

 Churches seem to split left and right over disagreements in leadership or a part of ministry. We feel like we have to clarify which type of Christian we are. And although we are all supposed to be a part of one unified body, we still pass judgement on other parts or even consider them foes. The thing is, I'm not immune to this phenomenon. I've grown up with my own ideas about other denominations, and I've even stepped away from the church in it's entirety because I nit-picked every church in town (a town that had more churches than restaurants). 

 The thing is, we're human. It's easy to make excuses for dissension and division. We get hurt. We have a major disagreement. We think others' methods are outright wrong. The thing about being a Christ-follower, though, is that He calls us to put all that aside. We are to forget ourselves and seek Him first. We are to put our brothers and sisters ahead of ourselves. We are to be open and honest and work out our differences. We are called to be unified, celebrate the differences, and extend the grace God continually gives us each day. 

 The devil knows this. I could even argue that his favorite method is divide and conquer. When we are so focused on fighting each other, we forget who the real enemy is. Prayers go unsaid, people go unheard, and the Gospel remains hidden. He likes to play to our pride or our past or whatever it is that will separate us from the community God has put us in. 

 I don't care what church you go to or what brand of Christianity you adhere to. Either way, I hope to see you in heaven. For now, I believe the Kingdom of Heaven on earth is in need of some repairs. The sinews of Christ's body need to grow back together because together we are far stronger than we could ever be apart. 

 When I would have fights with my friends growing up, my mother often quoted what I now know to be a verse in the Bible. She said a cord of 3 is not easily broken, meaning that on our own we are weaker than we are together, and with Christ we are nearly invincible. Let's not forget that.

Crunch Time

It's 24 days until my wedding. Weird. Time really flies, and since I did most of the planning myself, I may be freaking out a bit. I don't know how everything is going to come together. And I won't know until the day of since a dear friend has volunteered to coordinate everything for me the day of. I'm nervous. I've been having nightmares. I'm going over every detail almost daily. 

Last night I had my first dream of being married to my fiancé. It was a really pleasant breath of fresh air, and it reminded me why I'm doing this. I love Benjamin more each day for unquantifiable reasons. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life waking up next to him and ending my day with him. Plus, I'm excited for not using a tank of gas every week. 

In all honesty, I'd be happy having a simple picnic with close family rather than something extravagant. The only reason I'm throwing this huge shindig is to make everyone happy....and to be able to show it off on Pinterest. 

I don't know how pinteresting it'll be. I just hope everyone has a good time. Most of all, I'll be happy to be Mrs. Lewis by the end of the day. 

Tips for a Successful Marriage

Since I have my wedding coming up in 3 months (and I couldn't be more excited), I've been spending my time preparing for married life, reading up on blogs and books, receiving pre-marital counseling from 2 pastors I respect, and praying--a lot. I still think it's funny that although I do put some importance in the wedding day, I basically see it as a means to an end. I'm more excited to spend the rest of my life with the love of my life.

As I've been reading various blogs giving tips on how to have a marriage that lasts or secrets to a successful marriage, I have a hard time taking most of them seriously. Now, I may change my tune in a few years, but as of now most of these blogs are unhelpful. One tells me to hold hands with my husband, another study shows that couples who post public displays of affection on facebook stay together longer. Each of these cite what I see as the product of  love to be the cause. Couples who can't keep their hands to themselves (whether they're in their twenties or sixties) touch each other because they want to. They want to touch each other because they love each other. Couples posting on facebook are posting because they're happy, not in hopes to become happy.

In my opinion, couples who love each other (and express that love) stay together. These other things come naturally to those who express their love in those ways. Now, I'm a firm believer that love is a choice that we must make every day since the day we make a vow to love someone "'til death do us part." Some days that choice will be easy, some days it won't. When we make that choice to love our spouse, we are choosing also to continue to put them above ourselves. We are choosing to remind them of our love--whatever that looks like for them (Think: Five Love Languages). I thank God that He brought me someone who expresses his love the same way I do. For others, it's a learning curve. In time, though, it'll come easily.

Most importantly, couples who love God more than their partners and keep Him as the foundation for their marriage will benefit from a long-lasting marriage. God at the center really makes a difference, as He is love and gives us the ability to love.