It's an urge I've been fighting since childhood. I remember one instance where my neighbor friend and I chose to rendezvous in our alley at midnight one night and drive away in her electric toy car. We got a block away before her step-father found us and brought us home. I don't think I was ever serious about running away as a child because I never really got far or planned my trips very well.
I escaped in a different way. Through my books, I could be a secret agent or courageous wizard. I lived in far off countries or magical lands. I was wooed by Mr. Darcy and journeyed through Middle Earth. I chose to live vicariously through beloved characters rather than live my own life. I even got involved with theatre and became the characters I played.
Yet, at different points in my life, I still fought the urge to physically run. I long for adventure. I want to see the world, to experience its many cultures. I want to have an interesting life fighting for justice or creating a masterpiece. I wanted the life I have, but I also didn't want to settle down so early.
With the addition of a baby, it looks as if I will never have the adventures I yearn for, and that scares me. That's what makes me want to run away. Perhaps this wanderlust could be satiated if I were to go out more. If I made a point to take trips to the places I want to see and found interesting activities to do while at home, I may be a little more inclined to stick around. Maybe this is something I need to prioritize in my life, and maybe I will become a little more content with settling down if I do.
Rather than waste time on Pinterest or spend my days in someone else's adventure, I'm going to start making choices that support this longing. We'll see how it turns out!
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