My Quest for Direction

   When I was still a child, and every adult asked the same question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I would have a list. It started out with the first woman President of the United States, and went on to less assuming roles, like an A-list Actress or a New York Times Best-Selling Author. I also wanted to be a real estate agent, hairstylist, veterinarian (only for a short while before I realized that I dislike most animals), travel agent, interior designer, artist, architect, and a fashion designer--to name a few. Ideally, I waned to be repeatedly reincarnated, so I could pursue each career in a different life. Unfortunately, I don't think things work that way, and even if they did, I probably wouldn't have any recollection of my past lives, which would pretty much suck. It'd be cool to know that you were once the President of the United States in a former life, unless you were a horrible president. I wanted to be all of these things (part of me still does), but choosing just one career path? That would prove to be a bit more difficult.
   When it came time to decide on a college to go to, I became overwhelmed with this dilemma of choosing a career path. I felt that I needed to choose my major before blindly going into further education. By my junior year, I was so sick of planning for my future that I decided that I just wanted to be a housewife. One of my life goals was to be married by 21 (I am glad that I didn't reach that goal. I was NOT ready to settle down at 21), and I wanted to have kids, so being a perfect housewife looked ideally simple to me. When I'm overwhelmed, I tend to over-simplify my life to make up for the thousands of thoughts racing through my head.
   My mother was unsatisfied with my plan to forgo further education. So, I decided to pursue Creative Writing on a whim. I figured that I love writing, so I'll study to become a better writer. I heard that employers really only look for a Bachelor's (or Master's, or Doctorate) degree, and they don't really care what it's in, so I pursued what I loved, and decided to wait to decide on a career until I absolutely HAD to.
   As I matured and became increasingly aware of the troubles of the human race, my heart broke for the plight of orphaned and unloved children everywhere. I wanted to be a mother to all of them, take them under my wing and love them with all that I had. I had a plan, I would write a highly acclaimed novel, and with the proceeds convert an old Victorian mansion into a home for young girls that included a school and a beautiful garden. It would be a self-sustaining home, and I would raise loving young women of God. That evolved into including young girls who have been left on their own to care for their children, and when I heard about sex trafficking, I just wanted to have a home for rescued victims. I realized that I couldn't do this on my own, and I would need experience before starting one of my own.
   As of now, I'm still kind of sold on this plan. It's a pretty solid plan. There's only one problem: I haven't even started an idea of a novel that I would care enough to write.