If you've read any of my previous posts, you may have read mentions of my tendency toward busyness to the point of crashing. I would keep it up until breaking point, at which time I'd overcompensate with outright sloth. It's been a reoccurring problem for me.
I never really went into any details, but I suppose now is as good a time as any to share since my time was the first thing I ever attempted to simplify.
Growing up, I was always involved in extracurriculars while maintaining good grades. Middle School was filled with Basketball, Volleyball, Choir, Bell Choir, and Theatre. I cut out Basketball and both Choirs in high school, but I added yearbook and class treasurer to my resumé. I also started working (under the table) when I was 14 and got a part-time job at McDonald's when I turned 15. My social life consisted of church and its youth group. I volunteered each Sunday, either running the projector or watching toddlers. I believed that I could do it all, and I did. For the most part.
Every year around the same time - mid-February - I'd be overcome with the stress of it all and have a mental and emotional breakdown. I would try to cut back on extra responsibilities only to get right back into the cycle of over-commitment and crashing.
My relationships suffered because I treated my time with friends in the same manner. Many times, unwilling to say no, I would schedule time with one friend and then make plans with someone else in the next hour, cutting time with both short.
College wasn't much better. I was involved in the Bonner scholarship program, which required 140 volunteer hours a semester (and 280 volunteer hours a summer). I also had a Theatre scholarship that required me to be involved in each production. I did work study in the Theatre and worked part-time at Kohl's. On top of all that, I decided I wanted to graduate a semester early, so I took 18 credits each semester.
I was always on the go, and my insomnia ensured that I was always running on empty.
After finishing school, I quickly filled up my time with various passion projects and work.
Like many westerners, I valued busyness. That is, I did until I read Crazy Busy by Kevin DeYoung a couple years ago. I started questioning my need for busyness and realized that it stemmed partly from my perfectionism and partly from my superhero complex.
I began to yearn for simple.
Around the same time as reading Crazy Busy I had a discussion with a friend that prompted me to write out everything in my life that required time, from relationships to responsibilities. I circled those things that I wanted to prioritize and slowly withdrew myself from the extras.
I found I had more energy for what I valued most - my relationships with friends, family, and God. I realized that in trying to do everything, I was ineffective with what mattered to me. You cannot give anything your best, I discovered, when you're pulled in 20 different directions. Each relationship or responsibility suffers and you suffer.
Now, I write every appointment (social or professional) down on my phone calendar and let it alert me when it's time to go. Doing so frees up my mind to focus on the task at hand. I also make sure to have loads of blank space on the calendar. Scheduling every minute of my day only makes me want to rebel.
I'm still working on unplugging myself from technology - especially in others' presence. Single-tasking is the name of the game, and it's oddly freeing. I feel lighter and more focused.
It is possible to say "no" to things, and your life won't have any less meaning if you slow down. You may even find that it has more.
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